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(She would lose her virginity by Vince)
She had just turned thirty. And still a virgin. How awful, she thought.
Especially because there was no good reason. It was not a deliberate choice, not an aversion to men or indifference towards sex. Nothing of the sort. Just pure coincidence. The four short relationships she had, all stopped before 'it' happened. At some point it even became embarrassing to come forward with something like virginity. While most magazines say the opposite, it was her personal perception. It grew to a point where she even avoided a new relationship to avoid the thorny issue of “the first time”. Moreover, she was not looking for a permanent and serious relationship. And she was too inexperienced in bed for a disinterested flirt.
One day she decided to do something about it. The situation could not go on much longer because it made her unhappy. She had already considered various options. The possibility of asking a friend for a “favor” kept lingering in her head but there were too many objections to actually go for this option. She would feel uncomfortable with him because she could not think “sexual” about him. And, moreover, it could alter their friendship, and that's the last thing she wanted. No, this plan could not go through. She had to come up with another solution to lose her virginity. Preferably with someone who both knew what he was doing and who would just vanish out of her life thereafter. So a one-night stand was not an option either, because she felt too vulnerable. Moreover, it’s unsafe.
Weeks of googling kept her stumbling across the same man over and over again. Over time it became clear that she needed a gigolo to solve her "problem". Such a man would know what to do and there would be no need to ever see him again. And so she did. Although a little uneasy, she e-mailed Vince. He appeared so worldly and experienced that he would probably be surprised by her question. But a man like him was certainly used to much more. Maybe he would not even be interested. But she was wrong. He responded in a very attentive manner with a reassuring e-mail. He fully understood her question and wanted to talk to her about how she pictured the ideal context for her first time.
His response was heartwarming. She knew that she was going to be fine with him. She was nonetheless secretly afraid for what she thought would have to happen. She mailed him back and asked if he would be willing to come to her place. She would organize dinner with a glass of wine, because that usually unwinds her. What would follow would be entirely up to him. He would have to lead her throughout. After some hesitation she eventually attached a holiday photo from herself to her e-mail. This gave her the feeling that she was getting closer to him and she did not want him to see her for the first time when they would meet. Agreeing on a date by mail appeared to be less obvious. He was not always available and her social agenda was fully booked as she always filled her evenings ahead of time with visits to the gym and dinners with friends. She decided to call him to set a date as soon as possible. Now that the plan had been solidly anchored in her head, she wanted to execute it as soon as possible.
On the phone he had said, "Think about it carefully, this is something you experience only once in a lifetime."
"That’s exactly why..." she replied hesitantly.
On the particular evening she was calmer than she had expected. At least at the outset. Eating and talking was no problem whatsoever. She had met plenty of men in recent years with which she had had pleasant evenings. Without sex though. This is also why she did not know how the transition from the table to the bed would have to happen without it all becoming artificial. For this, she trusted Vince. However, when the doorbell rang that evening, there was nothing left of her initial serenity. By the time she opened the door for the unknown man whom she had invited, she was a nervous wreck. While he only knew her from the telephone conversation and the two mails they had exchanged, he immediately broke the ice with his captivating appearance. He cordially kissed her on the cheek when he came in. He looked good. Sparkling of energy, attractive and oh, he smelled so good. She would have to ask him about his perfume later on. This was a scent that she would never forget...
The entire evening went by like in a movie. They had good conversations during dinner. He was a fascinating man who could make her laugh and dream. Her stress faded away, naturally. After dinner they sat on the couch with another half glass of wine. He kissed and hugged her.
"Shall I give you a nice massage?” he suggested.
He was so tender and tactful that there was never an unpleasant moment. He took the lead and did it so carefully and subtly that she felt precious and special. Slowly he undressed her, which aroused her greatly. When she was completely naked, she got scared. Not for the massage, but for what was to come afterwards. But the gentle and patient way by which he was handling her, reassured her. He caressed her everywhere, making her excitement get the upper hand again. When she got to the point where she no longer wanted to stop, he looked deep into her eyes.
"Do you really want to do this?" he asked.
"Yes" she said, bolder than she actually felt.It did hurt when he penetrated her. But he did it so gently and tenderly that she did not have to ask him to stop. As he briefly paused, he kissed her tenderly, which made her relax and lessened the pain. He continued slowly until he was deep inside her. He started moving faster and she clenched a little.
"Are you okay?", he asked when he heard her gasp.
"Yes," she whispered.
"Let’s continue then" he said. "Now we're going through ,”all the way to the end."
Afterwards, she was greatful about that sentence. As it made her aware of how it really was and she would remember that sex was nothing to be afraid of. Because she had actually enjoyed it, the feeling of a man who pushed deep into her, and the awareness that she was no longer a virgin.
When, a little after midnight, she accompanied him to his car, she proudly held her nose in the air. She was a real woman!
Two weeks later she called Vince. Could they meet again? She wanted more. Learn more about sex.
"Do you also have 'sex for advanced'"?, she asked him while laughing out loud over the phone.
Vince was thrilled. He was delighted that she had enjoyed it so much.
She lived between Eindhoven and Den Haag and the idea of a Gigolo went through her mind.
How on earth was she going to start this?
She had already achieved a great deal in her life. She got herself a degree, found herself a husband, gave birth to two children, solved the most complex professional problems…
But for what she wanted now, there was no off-the-rack scenario.
She was almost forty, and she really wanted this.
She was pretty nervous when she sent him her first e-mail. She would definitely forget about the whole idea if she did not like his reply.
She had written gigolo Vince about her life and about how she had been feeling lately. She wanted to feel special again, get the feeling that she was attractive and that there was a man who wanted to discover her again in a sensual way. Though she had a great life and loved her husband very much, she knew that the “first-time feeling” would never return.
She felt a surge of adrenaline when she received Vince’s reply. What he wrote sounded sweet, thoughtful and a little naughty. It pleased her. The combination of her feelings at that particular moment with the photographs from his website made her feel warm inside. She definitely wanted to spend the evening of a lifetime with this man.
His words expressed a sense of adventure. He was also pragmatic enough to lead her through her thoughts. She looked at his website again and read through all the possibilities. She had a few ideas of her own but hadn’t been able to organize these yet. “It wasn’t a problem per se”, as he had written, she was free to call him to request more information.
She e-mailed him back, thanked him for his reply and spontaneously attached a picture of herself. After all she could see his picture from his website and thought that it would please him to know how she looked like.
The next day she gathered up her courage and called him. Eventually there was no reason to be nervous because it was easy talking to him. He thanked her for the photograph and appreciated her initiative. Although the looks of a person are not of the most importance for him, it was nice to have an idea.
The telephone conversation helped her tremendously to decide what she finally wanted. He was subtle and yet practical, professional and discreet.
She preferred a meeting in an hotel but still had a lot of uncertainties. He was considerate for every fear and hesitation and had solutions for each. He made a few tasteful suggestions for hotels with consideration for the budget that she had in mind.
By the time she went to bed, her fantasy had turned into an actual plan.
She was still nervous on that particular evening between Eindhoven and De Haag. There had been no further contact since they had set the date, but they both knew where and when they would meet. She tried to recall the spontaneity of their telephone conversation and knew that she would be able to feel snug with him. How snug, only time would tell. But even if things would not work out, if she was going to change her mind for whatever possible reason, the evening did not have to turn into an embarrassing situation. He had booked one room for her and one for himself in the modern boutique hotel that she had chosen. She preferred it that way.
That way, they could pretend that they were both staying in the hotel during a trip between Eindhoven and Den Haag, and meet each other by chance. They agreed to meet at the bar at eight o'clock the evening so they could get to know each other while drinking a glass of martini. It made her think back at the time when she was 25 years old and partying again.
There she was, in the company of a blood-spinning handsome man with whom, if she wanted, she could spend the whole night. Or keep things to a drink and remain good friends without any hard feelings. The choice was entirely up to her. But his interesting chats and his subtle suggestive glances, got her more excited than she had ever been before.
She would be crazy to say farewell in the bar and spend the night in her own room, alone. She still didn’t know how she would handle this. Go with him to his room? Or go to her own room and knock at the door of number 506 in the middle of the night? ...
She knew one thing for certain. Things wouldn’t stop after the martini...
That day in Ghent, East Flanders, I am thinking that it is the first time that I am undertaking something for myself, no matter how trivial. I enjoy the workshop because it is interesting. But my wandering thoughts tell me that this is not enough. Oxygen runs through my head again. I feel my blood flow faster and my body awakening. The contrast between my crazy feeling and the gloom of my daily life could not be greater. Because the reality of the chilled steady relationship in which I am stranded is undeniable. The love for the 'kids' is the only thing that precludes the relationship with my husband to come to an absolute end.
Gigolo Breda, The Netherlands... my blind date with Vince